Confusion Rocks My Mind

Do I understand why I feel how I feel? Do I understand why I do what I do?

Yes. 

What I do not understand is how I can continue to feel this way about someone who has hurt me. I didn’t think I was strong enough, I didn’t think I could endure the pain, but you know what they say. That which does not kill you only makes you stronger.

Can I stand to see him all the time? Can I stand in the rain? 

I believe so.

I asked for the strength to get up each morning, to face each day without tears, to have the desire to live. I have the strength. I have the courage. I have the desire. How will I use it?

I don’t know yet. Every day I see him I wonder if it will be okay. Will this be a good day or a bad one? I’m never sure. I always hope, but never know until it’s over. 

I love him so I will take good days and the bad ones. If they’re days with him, it’s all good. 

GAHHH have to go! I’ll babble some more later